chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
