Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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