There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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