Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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