How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
