I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
operation have a gay friend backfired
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
