i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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