She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
