..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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