Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
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I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
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I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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