It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
