Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
