I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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