Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
did i walk over a car last night?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Randomize
