The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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