okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Randomize
