He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
