I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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