I want to have your abortion
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
