Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
