I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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