apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
