She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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