i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
