My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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