Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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