The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it hurts more in the daytime
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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