She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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