Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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