Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize