I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
