Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
