Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
nutella sex= disaster
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
