Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
