someone owes me an orgasm
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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