the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I want to make a zoo with you.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
