That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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