About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I didn't notice because vodka
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
