Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
