pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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