And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
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just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
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He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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