Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
