dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
