Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
