heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
