There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just had sex on a roof
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
