I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
