I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize