so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
