omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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