bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Randomize