This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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