i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
