Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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