she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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