You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
