I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
