I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
