i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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