thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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