Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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