i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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