thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
