thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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