Tell her she can't have a vagina
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
this boner is exhausting
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Fuck me I smell like cheese
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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