chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
